Fifty shades of surrogacy
by perks-of-being-British
Summary: What happens when a heavily pregnant Ana gets into a horrific car crash and the surgery to save her ends up losing her baby and chance of another. With Ana desperate for a baby, she turns to Emma, a fiery girl in her mid-twenties who is perfectly willing to do this for Ana. This story focuses on the drama that unfolds with two new additions to the Grey family. Be gentle, first FF!
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own the FSOG trilogy and I'm just playing with the characters! :)**

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I opened my eyes, combating the fuzzy feeling spreading through my brain, a feeling I knew all too well from Jack Hyde's attack.

_Holy Shit. I'm in hospital._

As I started to make coherent thoughts, I could see a head of messy copper hair lay down at the side of my bed. The owner of said copper hair being my husband, who was breathing softly, showing clear signs of his current state of sleep. I didn't want to wake him but there were serious questions spinning around my head, 'What am I doing here?', 'Where's Teddy and Phoebe?', 'How did this happen?'.

I ran my fingers softly through his hair and he sat up so quickly it startled me back into the soft pillows of my hospital bed.

"Ana! Oh thank God you're awake! I knew you wouldn't leave me." He is so full of relief that it startles me all over again and typical Ana, I start stuttering like an idiot.

"Ch-Christian, wh-what's going on, how did I get here?"

"You don't remember, oh God you don't remember anything?" I shake my head silently. "You were in an accident, a car crash, I can't believe you don't remember... We were on our way back from Bellevue, Phoebs and Teddy wanted to stay with my mom and dad-"

Then it all comes rushing back to me, a horrible accident, one of metal and blood and glass. And the foul stench of liquor...

_I'm happy, almost ecstatic that my bundles of joy decided to stay with their grandparents, does that make me a bad mother? No, don't be silly, they just love Grace and Carrick so much it brings a tear to my eye. "Ready for some alone time, Mrs G?" Christian asks me from the drivers seat of one his his hundreds of cars. "Always, Mr G... Even if this little guy gets in the way," I say as I stroke my expanding abdomen lovingly._

Oh God. My baby, I-I was pregnant.

"Christian, what happened to the baby?" His silence is more than enough for an answer "No,no, please no..." I whisper as my gaze travels down to my stomach, where this time yesterday was largely distended, is now slightly flabby and completely void of life.

"Ana, baby. You need to breathe, relax for me baby please?" Christian begs me, but I barely hear him, I can only hear my erratic breathing and heartbeat, or is that the beating of the machines beside me?

"Mom! I need you!" Christian is yelling at the top of his lungs for his mother, and she comes running in, interns in tow as well.

"Christian we need to sedate her," Grace tells him softly, a hand placed gently on his bicep.

"No, mom. I just got her back you can't take her again!" Christian is clearly becoming as distressed as I am.

"It will just be like she's sleeping, just like before, I promise you she will wake up again," While this is happening a certain blonde female intern is trying to get me to calm down by telling me to breathe, _I'm not in labour you fucking moron. _Just before I'm injected with something Grace tells me will help me calm down, I lean down and whisper into Christians ear...

"We need to have our baby, no matter what happens, I want us to have another baby"

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_**OK, quick A/N, this is my first ever fanfic and I just wanted to get a little start out there, I promise I'll try to make chapters longer in the future, and reveal more about the crash. Thanks for reading and please give me a short review just to let me know what you think of my writing? I would love you for it! Thanks! x**_


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own the FSOG trilogy and I'm just playing with the characters! :)**

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I could slowly feel consciousness returning, and I'm met by the beautiful, yet anxious face of my husband. He looked as if he hadn't slept all night, but even with large bags under his eyes and a thick beard on his chin, I can feel the pull between us when we lock eyes, grey to blue.

"Hey," He whispers "How're you feeling?"

"A little sore, but mostly confused, what the hell happened out there, Christian?" I reply gently adjusting myself against my pillows.

"It's a long story baby, all you need to know is that it couldn't be avoided, what happened to you and our baby, the doctors all tried to save him, but God, Ana, he was just so small and frail, I knew he wouldn't survive..." Christian's voice in soft, as if he's talking a cornered animal out of it's hiding place.

"Oh God, Christian are you OK? You were driving, what happened to you?" I ask, frantically searching over his body for signs of injury, his hand is a little scratched, and his face, but aside from that, he seems perfectly fine. "I'm OK," He whispers, "The car side your side, a fucking drunk driver, who the fuck gets drunk at midday?!" Christians voice raises with each word.

"Shush, calm down," I hold him close to my body, he wraps his arms around my waist and nuzzles his head between my breasts.

Now I know that Christian's OK, all I can think about, is the guilt I feel, for not being able to save my baby, the precious life that was created in a moment of love between my husband and I. The guilt I feel for not being able to protect him when he needed my, his own mother, and I couldn't even save him.

"Christian, what will happen to him?" I ask.

"Who?" He questions.

"The baby..." I whisper reluctantly.

"The doctors said that some parents request the baby so they can have a funeral. But most of the time, they are kept for about a month in the lab, and then disposed of. What do you want to do with him?" He replies, clearly quoting the doctor.

"I don't think that I would survive the funeral, I wasn't too far along, only five months, and he must have been tiny, am I a terrible mother for not wanting to see his body?" I ask, dreading the answer.

"Of course you aren't, oh Ana, my poor girl, everything will be alright, we don't need to have a funeral if you don't want to, maybe we could remember him in a different way. My mom told me we could plant a tree or something to remember him, a lot of couples do that after a miscarriage."

"OK, that sounds good, but Christian... I meant what I said, I really wanted us to have that baby, when did the doctor say we can have another... when can we start trying again?" I whisper, gently caressing his hand and leaning further back into my pillows.

"Oh baby, that's the thing, you see," He adjusts himself in the soft purple armchair next to my hospital bed "During the c-section, they realised that your uterus and womb have been severely damaged from the accident, I'm so sorry baby, but we can't have any more babies, it's impossible."

My world collapses around me. I can't have kids? What? I have always thought about this, how many children I would have and when they would be born, the special occurrences in each pregnancies, the joys of bringing life into the world. But now what? I get to do it twice and I'm done?

"There's no chance of us having another baby? None at all?" My voice is thick with unshed tears. I will not cry. I will not cry.

Repeating the mantra doesn't help, silent tears make tracks down my cheeks.

"Not exactly," Christian begins and my ears prick up "There are a few other options, things like adoption, and egg donation, or surrogacy."

"I don't know about adoption, I mean, I know it's fantastic and helps children get into truly loving families, but it won't be our child, and how would Teddy and Phoebe react if we just suddenly bring home a baby, or a child of their age, surely they will be confused!"

"And I'm not sure about egg donation, if we're gonna have a baby, it needs to be both of us, not just me and another random girl." Christian argues with me, and I see his point, of course I do, but that leaves us with surrogacy, and I don't even know what that is.

"That leaves us with surrogacy... do you know what that is?"I question Christian.

"I did some research," He says indicating his laptop, "There's a company here in the US, that specialises in finding surrogates for young, infertile couples."

"Well, how do we get started?" I ask seriously.

Christian smiles, "I was hoping you'd say that. I've arranged us an appointment to meet up with a counselor from the company, they'll explain everything when they get here."

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**A/N: Thanks for reading, and a review would be lovely, any idea or things you want to see in the story, let me know :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey! I'm back! To the Guest reviewer who thought things were moving a little too quickly. I understand your concern, however, as this story focuses on the actual surrogacy element of the issue (Which I have been reading up on by the way! :D)**

**I wont be changing my story too much, in this chapter you will meet a surrogacy counsellor and hopefully I'll be introducing Emma in a few chapters! Yay! :D**

**I don't own the FSOG trilogy and I'm just playing with the characters! :)**

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Christians POV

"I was hoping you'd say that. I've arranged us an appointment to meet up with a counsellor from the company, they'll explain everything when they get here." I smiled reassuringly.

"What time will they be here?" Ana questioned.

I looked at my watch. "In about an hour."

Then we waited, both holding hands neither of us wanting to talk about the tiny elephant in the room, just as when she was pregnant with Teddy. A knock on the door startled us both, we looked up expectantly, thinking it was the person who could hopefully make our lives better, but my mom poked her head around the door.

"How're we doing in here?" She spoke in a soft voice.

Over the last hour everyone had come in to see Ana and check in how she was feeling, obviously it was hardest to get rid of Kate and Ana's mom, but we managed, I knew that Ana needed to rest, and that resting would definitely not be happening with the whole clan in her hospital room. Eventually after everyone had left, Ana closed her eyes and fell asleep, albeit reluctantly, but still, she slept and was still sleeping now.

"I think we'll be OK, mom. I've arranged for a surrogacy counsellor to come speak with us about how we can get the process started." I state with hope that my mother agrees this is a good idea.

"Are you sure that's what you and Ana both want?I mean, you just lost your baby, Christian. Isn't there any kind of grieving you'd like to do?"

"Ana doesn't want to keep the body, but I suggested planting a tree or something in the garden, I read somewhere that a lot of couples do that when they've had a miscarriage or stillbirth..."

"That's a good idea. You're sure Ana doesn't want the body? She may find it gives her some kind of closure?"

"She was adamant that it would be too difficult to keep him, and that we could remember him in another way. Hence the tree idea. I think it could be sweet, we could see the tree grow as if we'd see the child grow."

"Of course dear, I understand your reasons. What time is the counsellor meant to be here?" She questions with a questioning smile.

"Any minute no-" I was cut off by a nurse that had suddenly entered the room, the fact that she didn't knock pissed me off a little, but I counted to ten, knowing that she would introduce us to the woman who would help us have another baby.

"Mr Grey? Mrs Williamson is here for you, she says that she is from 'Surrogacy US'?" Nurse Interruptus questioned me.

"Yes. Send her in." I said as I reached over to wake Ana.

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"Hello. It's a pleasure to meet you both. Although I'm very sorry about your accident..." Mrs Williamson spoke with soft grace, she was an old woman, but not obviously, She didn't have short curly grey hair, but she had wisps of grey flowing through her natural light blonde. Her make-up was understated, so you could see her wrinkles through the thin coat of moisturiser. She wore a pink linen buttoned shirt, and white chino pants.

"Hi, It's nice to meet you too, thank you for your condolences, Mrs Williamson." I reply, griping Ana's hand in mind and squeezing so that she feels reassured.

"Oh please, call me Kiera, I much prefer that to my official title, far too formal for a job like mine. I'm bringing joy to your life not work or pain..." Kiera responds with a wry smile.

"Good to meet you, Kiera, so uhh, what do we do to start the surrogacy programme?" Ana's voice was slightly shaky, so I squeezed her hand tighter in mine.

"Well, first of all you'll need to complete an application," She pulled a few papers from her briefcase "which basically has you answer questions like your date of birth, marital status, how much you work and about any current children you may have, along with some other things like whether either of you drink excessively or smoke, and whther you plan to give this up when the baby's born.

"We also have some questions about what you feel your relationship with your surrogate should be, will she live with you? Will you pay her expenses, like missing work and extra clothes? It's all explained in these papers,"She indicated to them by raising them slighty and passing them towards me "then we'll see if you're eligible for the programme or not."

That seems simple enough. But what if we're not accepted, then we could never have the baby that we want. Though I highly doubt hey will find anything on me that could keep me form having another baby. I'm a billionaire for fuck's sakes. A billionaire that could easily work from home. Not to mention the fact that Ana now owns Grey Publishing and is highly successful all on her own. I swear she should have gone into business ownership rather than majoring in English.

"And if we do get accepted?" Ana asked, she was clearly worried that we wouldn't.

"Your file will go into our database, Ana, I assume you want this child to have your genetic material?" Ana nodded "And your ovaries and eggs are still OK and, for lack of a better work, usable?" Another nod "Then you will go through the IVF route, the two of you will create a zygote," At our confused faces Kiera continued "a fertilized egg, that will be placed in your surrogates uterus, for nine months and then you will have your baby." Kylie smiled as she explained the last part.

"So a woman will just, pick us?" Ana seemed awfully confused and so was I, I could hardly picture a woman going through piles of applications until she finds a family that she likes.

"Basically yes, the application forms wont have your names on, it will have your professions, genders, amount of children that you already have, and your reason for using surrogacy, again using no specifics, for example yours will say that the female IP has recently had an accident causing a damaged uterus."

"Is there any way we can get our surrogate to sign an NDA before we get together?" I ask, speaking up for the first time in ten minutes.

"Why would you want her to sign an NDA?" Kiera asked, confused by my thought.

"Well, as I'm sure you know, my wife and I both run highly successful businesses, and if our clients were to hear of our personal issues, ther could be further problems with our work life."

"Oh, of course Mr Grey, once you get your applications in and a surrogate has chosen you, I'll be sure to get her that NDA." Kiera's tone was suddenly brusque, jeez calm down.

"Thank you, Kiera, we'll get these filled out as soon as possible and get them sent to you." Ana smiled, trying to calm the storm at the side of her hospital bed.

"Thanks, Ana, I look forward to hearing from you." And suddenly she was soft and kind like the grandma we all know and love, maybe her tone is bipolar...

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**Please review! It makes me want to write more! Thanks for reading :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Update time! Sorry to say this but I don't know if there will be very frequent updates, as I have exams coming up and need to do some mega revision! Anyone fluent in French? lol. I'll try my best to get chapters up but as you have probably noticed, I'm no novelist, but I try my best! :)**

**Also, if you guys could help me find a story that I was reading but lost that would be great! It's one where Ana get's sick after skiing in Aspen and has to go to the hospital? Let me know if you know which one that is, and I'll love you! :)**

**I don't own the FSOG trilogy or anything related to it and I'm just playing with the characters! :)**

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"Fuck's sake, these forms are tedious." Christian growls in anger next to me. "Can't they just google us and answer this shit?"

"They could, but it doesn't mean they will," I mused from behind my half of the paperwork "they just want to make sure that we wont be using their services for the wrong reasons, and that we'll be good parents, besides, I'm sure the surrogates have to go through this, you would want some crazy person carrying our child, would you?"

"I suppose not" Christian sighs.

It has been a week since I left hospital, over the last few days various members of our little family have come bearing condolences. Kate brought me ice cream and love, both of which I was more that willing to accept, her and Elliot helped us through my miscarriage. And Grace and Carrick really helped us to explain what had happened to Teddy and Phoebe.

_"You remember how mommy was gonna give you a brother or sister?" Christian asks gently to Teddy and Phoebe, Phoebe in my lap and Teddy in his, we are sat in the field behind the big house, watching the sunset._

"M-hmm" Teddy mumbles and Phoebe just nods along, they are clearly being distracted by the beautiful sight before them

"Guys, this is important can you look and mommy and daddy please?" I tell them in my 'don't mess with me' voice, they immediately sense something is wrong and turn straight around, I don't really use my boss voice out of work much but sometimes it is just needed. Especially when dealing with errant elementary schoolers.

"Yes daddy?" Teddy has become his professional little self, it brings a tear to my eye, would our other baby have been like that? God I can't even think about him without bursting into tears right now.

"Well, mommy felt pretty sick that day you were with grandma, so I took her to the doctor, and the doctor told us that the baby inside mommy was sick, and that she could be with us any more, and now me and mommy are gonna try to have another baby, with some extra special help from a nice lady, how do you feel about that?" Christian is being very gentle with them, almost speaking to them like they were babies, but they're not, Teddy's seven now and Phoebe is five.

"Are you OK now mommy?" Teddy is first to speak up from the silence.

"I'll be just fine, I'm excited about the new baby, but still sad that we couldn't bring the other baby home too, are you sad?" I questioned him.

"Kind of...why wasn't he allowed home, was he too heavy?" Teddy frowned.

I smiled sadly, "No sweetheart, he was too sick, remember, like daddy said?" Phoebe looked really sad, I knew she was looking forward to having a new baby brother or sister, and she was older than Teddy was when we told her, God they were so happy.

"Gone?" Phoebe asks, her little voice trembling, "Why was he sick? Did he have too much ice cream?" Now they're both frowning.

"No baby, he just got sick, it wasn't anyone's fault."

"Oh, OK"

After that there weren't many questions regarding the baby, sometimes Teddy would find me crying and we'd talk about it again. And the same with Phoebe, but after a few days of us all having a good grieving session over him, the kids seemed just fine, and now I think I can feel myself getting back on track with who I really, want to be, I want to be a mother again.

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3 months later

Emma's POV:  
I wake, groggy from the mini nap that I definitely needed thanks to mother nature turning up late as fuck and bringing the whole apartment buildings cramps with her, and my phone's ringing. Who the fuck is this? Everyone that has my number knows how much of a bad mood I'm in on days like this.

"Hello?" I say, trying my best not to sound sleepy.

"Emma? This is Kiera Williamson, we spoke a few months ago, about you joining our programme fairly soon? You said you'd get back to me within a month and I haven't heard from you in a while. I just wanted to call and check that you were still considering it." Comes a chirpy voice from the other line, when I applied for work at Seattle Grace maternity ward, I ran into Kiera on the way home and she told me all about her job. It sounded pretty interesting and like a really great thing to do, so yes, I was considering it...But I have a feeling Kiera needed an answer today.  
"Mrs Williamson! Great to speak to you," I sit up and immediately sound more awake, "I have been thinking about this a lot and would love to join your company, It's brilliant what you do for these couples and I would love to be a part of it." I grin.

"Oh, how excellent! Well, since we can get all your medical details from the hospital how about I have a quick flick through your files and get back to you on when we can start monitoring your cycle?" Kiera sounds like your mother when you start your period. Awkward.

"Um, sure I guess. I'll speak to you soon?" I question her. Feeling incredibly awkward discussing my body with this woman, though I suppose I'd better get used to it, I'm sure more people will see my vagina in the next few months than the rest of my life.

"Alrighty then, speak to you soon Emmy!" And she hung up before I could tell her never to call me Emmy again if she enjoyed her vocal chords. Fuck, my moods are all over the place today.

"Andy! Can you throw me some actual pants instead of what I'm wearing now?" I yell through my apartment, to my less than helpful permanent roommate. Who, when I asked him to bring me some comfy clothes, he brought me my sweat pants and his t-shirt, that still smelled of sweat from his overly-hot room.  
I sigh and lean back, I've just agreed to be someone's surrogate, It's gonna be an interesting year.

Ana's POV-same time

"So, er, why did you pick our file out of many possible families?" I ask, staring in to the cat-like eyes of Melissa Stone. She seems creepy.

"Oh, well..." She blushes and bites her lower lip, jeez do I look like that when I do that? She looks as if she trying to pull dry skin from her lips, "it would just be such an honour to have, I mean, carry your baby, Mr Grey, I absolutely idolize you" She whispers with wide eyes. Is this girl insane? Does she think we're insane?  
"Sorry, Melissa, I don't think that this is going to work out...You seem a little distracted by other...erm what you think are opportunities." I fumed.

She sighs "That's a shame you feel that way, it would have been an awfully quick birth, judging from other families I've worked for." She smirked, as if that would change my mind about a psychopath staying with us for nine months, with a part of me inside her. "Well. Goodbye then"

"She was terrifying..." Christian insists, and I have to agree, I think that I may just give up, every woman that we've met with the night before has either smoked before, done drugs, or just been terrifying. I sigh, maybe I'm just looking on the negative side of things. However, just as I'm about to give up, Kiera glides into the room with a manilla folder in her hand.

I hope you two haven't given up hope yet," She jokes, yeah, not funny. "Well," she coughs, "I found a girl for you, I think that she will be perfect for you, in fact, I chose her especially for you two, I met her after leaving your hospital room. Her name's Emma, she doesn't really want to disclose her surname because of some childhood issues, a charming young girl, mid twenties, blonde hair and brown eyes, what do you think?"

Christian turns to me "It's got to be worth meeting her, just in case, she could be the one."

I sigh, "Sure, why not?" Although I don't have high hopes for this 'Emma' girl.

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**Please review! X**


	5. Author's note-Sorry!

**Hey guys, sorry this is an A/N, but I can promise I will begin posting again soon, like in the next week.**

**I stopped posting because I didn't really feel able to, any kind of review or PM letting me know what you would like in this story and whether I should continue to post would be brilliant.**

**Thank you **


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